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I don't want to lose him; what do I do?
I started seeing a guy who was separated. We have been going out for almost a year while and he was taking all the steps to end his marriage. He had a meeting with his attorney, his ex-wife, and her attorney where they were going to finalize things before filing the final paperwork. He came home to tell me she wanted to talk without their lawyers. She took him to lunch, told him she wanted him back. they ended up sleeping together. He says he wants to make sure the divorce is the thing he wants. He says he loves me, but he has to be sure. I don't want to lose him; what do I do?
First, just to clarify - a man who is separated does not have an ex-wife; he has a wife he is not living with.
He has told you what he needs to do and good for him for not lying to you. you didn't mention whether he expects you to wait until he is sure, but I suggest you not do that. It wouldn't be comfortable for you knowing he was going to be with her when you want him with you. It won't make you noble, or good, or supportive.
Look, one of two things is happening here: His wife wants him back, or she wants to get back at him. Either way, allow him time to find out which one it is. Wish him luck and send him on his way without telling him you'll wait. You need to be able to move on in case the first scenario is true, if it's the latter, you'll have the option of taking him back when he shows up on your doorstep.
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