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Julie really is my best friend. How do I get Natalie to understand that?
I have a friend - "Julie" who has been my friend since the second grade. Nothing sexual has happened between us and we love each other as brother and sister. The problem is the woman I'm interested in-"Natalie" doesn't believe me when I say Julie and I are just friends. She doesn't want me to pal around with Julie whether she's with me or not. Julie really is my best friend. How do I get Natalie to understand that?
I'm one for picking up on key words and the key words in your questions was 'interested in' in other words, there's no real commitment between you and Natalie but perhaps there could be. Whether it's with Natalie or someone else, you're going to have to deal with your best friend being a girl. unfortunately we aren't quite at the place where a guy and a gal can be just friends without being suspect.
How does Julie handle dating with her best friend being a guy? The two of you might devise a plan on how you introduce one another to significant others as they come along. I would let your personal integrity speak for you. If you and Julie are just friends, your behavior reflects that. Explain to Natalie that Julie is your best friend, not a competitor or an enemy, and you will in no way hurt her (Natalie) by your behavior with Julie, and Natalie needs to give you a chance to prove that. Your friends (male or female) know how to act when you meet someone new. Generally, they give you space to work your new relationship.
You and Julie may have to forge an understanding that says you will not discuss intimate details of your romantic interests while they are in progress and you won't force each other upon your love interests just to prove how innocent you are -after all, you wouldn't do that if your best friend was of the same sex. At the same time, make it clear to Natalie that as a grownup, you get to pick your friends and you aren't going to drop any of them on demand - regardless of gender- without cause.
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