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She says she doesn’t want to lose me, but she feels that I’m too far away
For the past year and a half I have been in a long distance relationship – about 300 miles. I travel to see my girl every other weekend and we spend a few weeks together every couple of months. We’ve been pretty happy in this relationship and she knows after I’ve completed my master’s degree in about six months, I will move to where she is to find a job. (I’m not moving just for her, the job market is good in her area). She told me a few weeks ago that she might need some space. She says she doesn’t want to lose me, but she feels that I’m too far away and she’s confused about how this relationship will work. I know I can really love her and she says she feels the same way. We had begun to talk about our future and now this crops up. I don’t know what to do.
Oh honey, take off the romantic rose colored glasses. You and your girl have been in this relationship for more than a year and she can’t hang for the last six months until you’re there without wondering if the relationship will work? You’re 300 miles apart and she needs space?
She’s creeping on you, babe and she won’t flat out tell you. She’s creeping on you and she still wants to hold on to you as a potential backup in case this thing she’s got going on the side doesn’t work out.
Here’s what you do: live your life. Tell her, you will give her all the space she needs. You will complete the last six months of your studies and then make the decision that’s best for you regarding where you search for employment. You will be more than happy to let her work out her confusion on her own since she needs the space and time to do that and if she decides she wants you; you hope you’re available when she calls.
You don’t like this option, but I am telling you the other way makes you a stringer and a fool. The only thing worse than playing someone is letting someone play you. Get your nerve and backbone straight and get yourself gone. Either she will be relieved you’re gone or she will straighten herself up and realize it’s you she wants, or you may find yourself better off. Either way, get yourself out of it and be prepared to really walk away.
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