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She thought I was playing hard to get and she's chasing me
I was, until recently, in a four year relationship. She broke it off with me because she said I was too needy. I admit I did call and email a lot and wanted to spend a great deal of time with her. But I thought that's what women wanted.
Anyway, I was out at a club waiting for friends to show when a young, beautiful girl came up to me. I really wasn't in the mood to be charming or flirtatious, but I was polite and when she asked me to dance, I nicely declined. When my friends showed up and we were sitting around, she came up to me again. I was being very nice, but I did tell her I just wasn't in a social kind of mood.
Before I left for the evening, she slipped me her phone number and asked to call her. My friends are encouraging me to call her. They say she thought I was playing hard to get and she's chasing me. I don't want to call her under those circumstances. That's not who I am. If I weren't still getting over my ex, I might have been more interested than I was and then maybe she wouldn't have been so interested. What should I do?
Your friends are probably right. She was probably reading you as a guy playing hard to get and she wanted in on the game. Or she was reading you as one of the walking wounded and wanted to heal you - if only for one night. One wonders if you had stayed there much longer how much she would have done to get your attention.
That being said, you need to learn how to play in the middle of your life and not so much on the boundaries. Your girlfriend left because you were so needy and this one pursued you because you seemed totally aloof or totally broken.
What would have been the harm in dancing with the girl? The bottom line is this: call her if you want and be who you are. It will either work or not. But, please, don't be apologetic about who you are or go into a litany about how that wasn't you but you just broke up with the love of your life. That's a downer even for a fixer.
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