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Strategy after the First DateBy Amanda Willis
There are few things more nerve-racking in this world than a first date. Even the most confident among us feel a little queasy when making the trek to pick up our dates for the first time. You really just don't know how things are going to go. But you got through it! The first date was a smashing success and now you can get on with the dating process. Or can you... It's still a tricky time in a growing relationship. The first date certainly isn't enough to tell if you're good together. You'll need more. So, how does one proceed after that first date and make arrangements for future dates? We'll look at a couple of ways that might help you secure a second date. The Three-Day Rule: I'm sure you've heard about this on the TV and in books, etc, but don't buy it. The three-day rule says you should always wait three days before calling someone when you get their number or even contacting them after a date. Well, you know who uses this rule? The dateless! You want to contact your date the day after, especially if you're a guy. Now, you don't want to be too forward. Don't ask for a second date. Instead, tell her what a great time you had. Text messaging works fantastically well for this! Just say how great you thought it was and leave a little smile. The Stinky Cologne: Do not, under any circumstances, come across as desperate. Just stop it. There's no sense in it. You don't need to contact this person and tell them how much you need them, or especially something cheesy like the "you complete me" thing. Also, don't seem desperate for a second date. The next time you talk, you can broach the topic of seeing each other again, but don't grovel on it. There's a big difference in wanting to see someone again and needing it. You need to come across like the former. The Changeling: It's perfectly okay to let that successful first date change your outlook of the potential relationship, but it's not such a good idea to let it change you as a person. You don't want to come across as too familiar, and you certainly don't want to start acting a fool in front of this person like it's all sewn up. The date happened and now it's over. The idea is to let this act like a building block of the relationship, not a stepping stone for your ego. Be the same person. The Socialist: Remember this: The first date does not entitle you to a second date in any way. Far too often people begin to act as if a successful first date means that the other person has no choice in accepting a second. This can be a disastrous move for you. Don't be a dirty commie. You can only speak for yourself and have no real say over whether or not the other person will be seeing you again. If you take this for granted and expect a second date to be a given, you'll find yourself back to square one.
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