What I wanna know is : what in the heck is he playing?
From a young, gorgeous, caring and fun woman who is curious as a cat-
For over a year my mate was an excellent guy, caring, sensitive, funny as hell, and intelligent. However, he would resort to self-abuse (slamming his head in a car door repeatedly! slapping himself, and other horrific things) if even the smallest unhappiness was expressed ("you're a bit late", "you're kind of quiet", etc).
Regardless of this insanity, I assumed he was remarkably sensitive and would be a shoulder for him to cry loudly on. 90% of the time, things were awesome, and he was a regular, fun guy who couldn't get enough of me.
Recently at a party he held for his friends, I was 'left by the punchbowl', not knowing anyone or the 'roleplaying games' (like dungeons and Dragons, and no I'm not kidding), I was standing around in my little red dress like a doofus. I expressed to him gently as I could after the party that I would prefer he wanted to keep me on his arm for the evening, and at least politely keep me involved until I felt comfortable enough to barge in on strangers' conversations on my own. He responded with slapping himself violently - something he hadn't done in months. Knowing he would cease instantly this behavior if any other person was present, I walked away.
He begged and pleaded that he must 'make it up to me', and I foolishly, gave him the opportunity, while setting groundrules of what I considered authentic and honest 'making up'. The first day in which we could have gotten together he said he wanted to spend alone. He did invite me to a party that evening, but when I expressed doubts about a reenactment of the previous party, he shouted "get out!" So I did just that.
A week went by with nothin, so I dropped off his things, and a letter of thanks & goodbye, at his home. Then the emails began, and the phonecalls. After enough of them, which seemed very clear and sincere, I asked him if he would like to talk, as he obviously had a lot to say. He replied with "I don't know".
Another week went by, and he wanted to drop by to return some miniscule belonging of mine (no not my ego at this point, haha), which he should have mailed. He came by and said everything you could ever want to hear, while crying and on his knees. As it was late, I suggested we talk further about it the next day.
Well, surprise! The next day, after talking casually for several hours over instant messages [both of us at our respective workplaces], I asked about the things he'd said. His reply: "I don't know what to do, or what I want."
Okay, I'm no dummy. There's no way he 'doesn't know' what he wants with me. What I wanna know is : what in the heck is he playing? To what end?
For the future, he's another one who bites the dust in my book (I'm not going to reply to any further contact), but I'm itchin with curiosity.
with love from Miss "Gimme a break!"
Dear Miss Gimme
Unfortunately, I don't think it's a game. It sounds as if he's got some intense problems which I can't diagnose and you can't fix. I certainly hope you're serious about not replying to his attempts to contact you or letting him back in your life. I think you would do better to stay away from him and find healthier relationships.
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