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I don't know what else to do to make her feel more secure. Any suggestions?
I've been seeing this girl for the past seven months. Things can go along quite nicely, but every once in a while she goes crazy with jealousy. I wanted to join a taskforce at my office working on a project that has the potential to rocket my career. She wrote a very nice, professional recommendation. My girlfriend saw it and went through the roof. She thought this woman probably had the hots for me and was going to use the letter as way of coming between us. I told her I never even thought of her that way, besides; she's married with a kid who she talks about constantly. She demanded I give up the idea of the taskforce and when I refused, she didn't talk to me for three days. There have been other instances where she wanted me to reassure her that she is the only woman I'm seeing. I don't know what else to do to make her feel more secure. Any suggestions?
Yes. Say good-bye. There is no reason it should take that much work to get something that 'goes nicely.' Your girlfriend has some serious issues and if she's going to go goofy over a letter from a colleague, what is she going to think if you get on the taskforce and start working closely with other women?
The problem here is that she is labor intensive. That's my description of any guy or gal who will constantly make you work at making them work. If you were to reassure her for a moment, she will then have to up the ante when she tests you again and it will never stop. The best thing to do is to cut off contact with her and be prepared to move on. Can someone who is labor intensive stop the behavior? Yes, but you have to catch it early or there has to be such an event with such dramatic consequences that not constantly pushing the boundaries are better than doing so.
I think you should be honest with her and tell her that you are willing to be on constant guard and a short leash. The return on the investment isn't worth it. Then you need to leave the relationship. If she should happen to change and you see her in a few months or few years, and it seems as if she's a different person, I still wouldn't go out with her, but you might be able to speak to her with any drama.
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