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I'm upset he didn't call me to announce his change of plans
I met this guy through a friend at one of her office parties. We’ve been talking as friends ever since (about seven months or so) and every time we see each other (a few times a month) he says we should get together outside of his office functions. The last time he said that, I suggested we go to this club that had gotten good reviews for the food and the entertainment and he said that sounded like a good idea. We made solid plans to go the following weekend. I expected by midweek he would call to confirm and to finalize where we would meet, how we would get there, etc. I asked the friend who introduced us if he talked to her about the club and she said she thought he told her he was going hiking with some of his friends before the weather turned cold.
I called him and asked him about it and he apologized and said he made those plans with his friends spur of the moment and he couldn’t get out of it and really wanted to spend the good weather outdoors.
I’m upset he didn’t call me to announce his change of plans and thought nothing of leaving me high and dry. My friend says I’m overreacting and if he calls me again, I should be willing to go out with him again. I think he’s rude and doesn’t deserve another chance. We agreed to let you decide.
Thanks a lot. It’s possible he was rude and you’re overreacting. In a world where people behaved perfectly, he would have remembered he made plans with you and would have told his friends that he couldn’t go hiking. However, people don’t behave perfectly and considering the two of you aren’t really in anything other than an acquaintance, he should have called to tell you he couldn’t make it because this was an opportunity he didn’t want to miss and to make plans with you to go to the club at a later day.
Do you have a right to be upset? Yes. But I’m not sure this reaches the level of closing the door on him. There’s not enough evidence to show whether this is something he does on a regular basis or not. Since you’re leaving it up to me: If he doesn’t make a point of calling and rescheduling, I would say move on but should he call and say he wants to make it up to you; let him.
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