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Do Your Friends' Opinions Of The Woman You Are With Matter?
By Scot McKay
Here's the deal. You've met a great new woman and you've been hanging around with her lately. Inevitably, the time comes when some of you friends are going to meet her. When they do, several very different scenarios can happen. Let's break each of them down:
1) They Ask Her Why She's With A Guy Like You
Annoying isn't it? Immediately this chick is hit with challenges by your friends, sometimes not so subtle. Even if in a joking manner, she can be asked point-blank why she's with you. Can't she do better?
This is ALWAYS good news for you. First, you are clearly being perceived at some level as dating "out of your league". That doesn't suck. And even though the annoyance presented by the topic having brought up DOES, consider this: The other guys are telegraphing pure jealousy. On top of that, rest-assured that guys who feel as if they have to diminish you to make themselves look good are almost universally dismissed by great women as LOSERS. Ultimately, you look better in her eyes.
By the way, it is atypical for this kind of gibberish to come from GOOD friends. Mere acquaintances, possibly, but not FRIENDS.
2) They Hit On Her, Trying To Get Her Attention Away From You
Here again is a clear indication that you are with an attractive woman. Here again also is a clear indication that you need higher-end friends. What we are talking about here is a bold, aggressive action. True friends will not operate like this---actually, even casual acquaintances won't typically be this tasteless.
When it does happen, however, it's important to remain composed rather than becoming defensive. After all, she's WITH you. Great women are not "guy hoppers" in social situations. If someone does manage to AMOG you out of your date, he's the opposite of a friend. On top of that, the woman utterly lacked character anyway. Next.
3) They Wait Until She Goes To The Ladies Room And Laugh Their Heads Off At
You
Aw, come on now. Sure, they could be right. But this is flat-out rude behavior. And guess what, guys-don't be surprised if it's actually a very real attempt to work reverse psych on you. You are potentially prone to this response especially if you are exhibiting any kind of indication that you are a bit embarrassed to be with her or otherwise have sweaty palms about how "meeting the friends" is going to go. If you do end up dumping an otherwise decent woman because of a transaction like this, do not AT ALL be surprised when the same guy who was "laughing at you" ends up going out with her after she's out of your picture. Seriously. And here's a freebie: All of this goes double if someone is trying to dissuade you from her because of some rumor or other unverifiable story.
4) They Wait Until She Goes To The Ladies Room And Give You Mad Props
On the other hand, this is an excellent indication that both your chick AND your friends are high-end. Nice. But by no means can this be considered a benchmark for what should be expected to happen. Guys who are silently jealous of you or in any other way are dissatisfied with their own success with women, even if they are good friends (and likely even "nice guys") are MOST likely to say.
5) Nothing...Not A Word
They exchange pleasantries with her, but keep their opinions on the DL. The feeling is that neutrality is the only real way not to dig themselves into a hole, and in many ways they may be correct. In my experience, guys who don't have a lot going on in their own dating lives are not likely to be very vocal about yours.either way. This is especially true if they are not among your few, very closest friends who will tell you anything.
So when the smoke clears from this, it's apparent that almost nothing that your friends-especially casual friends-say should be taken at face value. And when you think about it.so what? You shouldn't be dating to impress your friends anyway, for better or worse. ONLY YOU can decide who is good for you, and if that's a Supermodel who draws both admiration and/or disgust depending on the mindframe of those you interact with, then so be it. And if she's someone who does it for you because she's "perfectly imperfect" in your eyes, then have at it. A true sign of a man who has total control of a "wildly successful dating life" is when he knows he has options and is his own boss when it comes to exercising them.
One word of caution: Your very best friends whom you trust at the deepest level may in fact have valuable input for you. If you are hearing consistent concerns for your well being because you are blinded to the fact that this woman is treating you poorly, a raging alcoholic, etc. then you need to weigh those carefully.
Related Articles:
Ethnic Dating: Five Steps to Help You
Fearless Loving: Eight Simple Truths That Will Change the Way You Date, Mate, and Relate
New ways to find a date
Finding Someone Special
First Impressions to First Date
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