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Dating Someone That Does Not Share Your Indian Heritage
By Nisha Patel
You may have always assumed that you would only date and marry someone that shared your Indian heritage, as this is a common assumption. Now, you find yourself dating and even falling in love with someone who does not share your Indian heritage and you are wondering if your family will accept him or her, and if your cultures will somehow clash in the future. It can be distressing to consider these things and that is why it is important for a couple from two different backgrounds to talk about these things in a very honest manner so that they can avoid the stress that is often associated with this.
If you think this is a relationship that is really going to go somewhere you should approach the topic as early on as possible. Your significant other may not realize that your parents, grandparents, and other extended family almost expect you to date and marry someone that shares your Indian heritage. It's important that your partner know that he or she is awesome to you, but it may take your family some time to accept your union because of the difference in heritage. This is something that a lot of people cannot deal with, so it's better to approach it early on and before things get too serious.
When you are ready to tell your family that you are dating someone that does not share your Indian heritage, approach it in the most positive way possible. Start off telling your family all of the great things about this person that you are falling for and mention that you wouldn't change anything about him or her. You may want to tell your family that this person strengthens your respect for your culture, which you find is a positive thing, and explain that the reason for your happiness and increased respect for your culture is because they do not share your Indian heritage.
You may not want to have your significant other at this meeting with your family. If all goes well, you can ask him or her to meet you with your family later so that there can be an official meeting. The fact is, having your partner there may make the whole process more uncomfortable for your family, or they may stifle their feelings now and blow up later. Just be very upfront and allow your family to voice their opinions but let them know it will not change the way you feel.
Many Indian families were very opposed to their children dating outside their heritage for a long time, but these days many families are willing to accept those that are not Indian into their families. Of course, every family is different and only you can gauge whether or not your family will be adverse to your union with someone that is not Indian. Be prepared for a mixed response and stay true to your feelings no matter what.
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