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Where'd I Go Wrong?
By Graham Billingham
Dating should be taken for whats it real purpose is. However, most people see dating as the end of the activity rather than the means. What I meant was, there are some dating people who after the 1st or 2nd date seem to feel like both parties relationship is going somewhere. Instead they should see the date as a gradual getting to know process up to the point where both feel they are right for each other. Dating should be free of expectations to prevent disappointments. When you immediately date a person expecting that you will be right for each other, you will have a larger heartache.
If you think that you have done right by your own rule book but the relationship has collapsed after a couple of dates. Here are a couple of reasons that may have happened.
1. Love is really rare and complicated. Love at first sight really rarely happens. In some cases, the head becomes the master of the heart. This is not bad really. However, after the first date, the head really says that this person is not really what I expected him or her to be. The heart can no longer do a thing. People who have made up their mind to a certain point will have a hard time to be convinced. No matter how good the 1st date may be, if the other party feels you are not right, its pretty much over. So dont expect, just go out as friends.
2. Alcohol clouds judgment. When you drink too much alcohol you may think that you had a fun date. Instead you may juts not be noticing that your date was just too anxious to go home. Lessen alcohol on the 1st date and instead observe very well the way the date is going.
3. Some people carry emotional baggage. When a person carries an emotional baggage you will have a hard time figuring out what this person really wants. That person could still be afraid to fall in love again or unclosed previous relationship problems. If you are a person with emotional baggage, dont disappoint your date; try to be upfront about it. It may not be easy, but at least the other person will know something.
4. You are just being used to bring up the old flame they had with their past relationships. This may seem a bit harsh, but it does happen. Some people will use you to see if their previous relationship will be jealous and would really want to be back with them.
5. The last problem might be you. You have just become too excited and jovial about the whole date thing. You may have though that you both enjoyed the date, but in reality, you are the only one enjoying it. Be very observant.
Dating problems are as complex as solving Einsteins theories. Instead of feeling low and depressed about what happened. Try to learn from them and be wiser the next time out. The more experience youll get, the better youll be eventually.
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