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So what am i doing wrong.. I love him soo much
I have a boyfriend and we are about 3 years together now.. and i feel like i love him more than he does me and thats true! he has broken up with me about three times and always wanted me back and of course i went back to him. im the kind of person that wants him to spend time with me .. but it seems like he rather spends time with his friends..im always the one that drives to his house he never comes to my place except for like 5 times the most. the other day i got mad because on the weekend he left with his friends to a car race thing and was gone the whole weekend and came back sunday.. .. i mean isnt it normal that a boyfriend would want to see his girlfriend when he comes back? i thought he wouldve asked me if i wanted! to come over.. but he didnt.. and so i asked him.. but he was already by his friend (that he saw the whole weekend!) so i got mad at him.. (on the phone) and eventually i started asking him if he loved me or if i make him happy .. or what am i doing wrong that you cant love me.. he told me that he likes me alot alot alot.. but he doesnt "LOVE" me, and he doesnt want to lose me (he wants to be with me).. he said i dont really make him happy.. but i feel like im the only one that actually does something in the relationship.. he is the kind of computer freak he is always on the computer... even when im at his house.. i mean he does sometimes stop and comes to me(to kiss me or whatever).. and i said to him do you think that when you have a different girlfriend that your still not gonna stop on the computer.. and he said "maybe".. so that made me feel like crap.. so he obvisouly doesnt love me that much .. that he would actually stop the computer and do something with me.. but ! he might do with someone eles he loves... so what am i doing wrong.. i love him soo much.. and i dont want to tell him that i love him that much.. cuz i feel stupid.so how can i make him happier? that he might someday love me?he doenst like it when i arguee or whine.. and all that .. so maybe i should just stop that.. and do whatever he wants.. i dont what to do anymore.. please please help me! i dont want to lose him! thnaks for lisenting and please write back!
pam
Dear Pam
I'm going to tell you something you aren't going to like hearing, but you asked. You wouldn't be losing much if you were to walk away from this guy. He treats you this way because he can. He likes you a lot, but doesn't love you, you don't make him happy. He'd rather spend time with his friends (and he should have some time to be with his friends, by the way) and he doesn't make the effort to come over to your house, and he would treat another woman differently than she treats you. While there are certainly enough of his own shortcomings to count, you're the one with the problem that needs solving.
You have placed your identity within the confines of this man and that never works. You need to break it off with this guy and not get involved with another one until you know how to be with yourself.
Stop worrying about how to make him happy and concentrate on how you can fulfill who you are without anyone else to define you. Keeping him means losing yourself and you haven't given yourself a chance yet to find out who you are and what you have to offer.
The major fault with women in dating situations is that they stay too long in relationships that diminish them. You shouldn't have to jump through hoops to make someone happy. Healthy relationships don't work that way.
Let the guy go and find out why you're not comfortable with your own company. I believe you should speak with a professional who can help you find out why you are willing to sell yourself to someone else in order to exist.
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