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When the right one comes along
By Joe Vetromile
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you just werent willing to wait for it? Patience runs thin when we are in a hurry and want things right now; especially when it comes to love. It seems we just cant accept ourselves as we should and just enjoy our own company. We honestly do need to know ourselves before we try to get to know someone else too intimately. By being secure in our own self-esteem and confidence, we are able to go places and enjoy things, even when we might be alone, because we truly are our own best friend.
Rose had been married and divorced twice, and with that track record, she was very reluctant to get into any kind of new relationship. Most men started out treating her in a very kind, very compassionate way, but after marriage, it seemed things changed and she just felt as if she was being taken advantage of.
She did keep dating, however, because the one thing in life that she didnt want was to be alone. Her mother, Alice, had lived a life of loneliness and Rose wasnt about to follow in her footsteps. At six years old, her father died from an unforeseeable illness, leaving her mother to raise three children on her own. Without much money, Alice was forced to go out into the workplace making a living to support her little family and without much education, she ended up in minimum wage jobs that barely made ends meet. Rose was left alone with her other sisters quite often, and as an adult, she longed for male affection and companionship.
Her one goal in life was to find a man. She wanted this more than anything else, especially since she had never really known the love of a man before. Her first husband she married at 18, which enabled her to get out of the house and start her own place in life. He was a 17-year-old guy in the military, so somewhat like her mother, she ended up alone much of the time, which was certainly not what she had in mind. Joe would write her letters and call her on the telephone, which was some comfort, but it wasnt the same as waking up together in each others arms. Being such an immature age, he also succumbed to the advances of other women while he was away, which ended the marriage after just two years. Rose just couldnt deal with knowing that he was playing around with other women and she wasnt about to sit home and wait while that was going on.
Out of money and love, Rose moved back home with Alice and her little sisters, only to be told over and over how foolish she was to move out in the first place and marry such a loser guy. Alice had never liked Joe, and had never minded letting her know it.
Once again, Rose met a very good looking fellow who she knew must be the right one, so she married him. Again, he was unfaithful to her and she divorced him. She was ready to just give up on ever having anyone who would be true to her.
Rose wondered if she could ever hold onto a man again, but that didnt stop her from marrying the first man who came along. He was an older man and a business owner with money, so that was a deciding factor in her decision to rush into marriage. She needed emotional and financial stability and this was what she was waiting for. The problem with this one is that she didnt really love him as a wife should love a husband. He was such a nice man though, and going back to her need to have a male figure in her life, she married him after just dating him just 5 weeks. What a diamond ring he gave her! It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen!
About two years later their first baby came along, and such a pretty baby she was. Little Diana was everything to Rose, so they decided to have another child, and Jake was born not long afterwards. Here she was, a housewife in a beautiful home with two beautiful children and a loving husband; but he was a husband she didnt love and that left her with an emptiness she had never known.
One day, she decided to get involved with a local civic group in her town. She met a good-looking guy who was close to her age. He was such a friendly man and so charismatic. Rose had never met anyone like him and she was immediately drawn to Charles. He wasnt married and they had endless chats at the meetings she attended, but she felt herself growing closer and closer to him. What would she do? Here she was falling in love with the man of her dreams. Finally someone she had waited for all of her life had appeared, but it was too late because she already was set in a marriage with small children and felt there was no way out.
Rose went to these civic meetings every week, meeting Charles there and always going for coffee afterwards, but nothing more. After her first two failed marriages and her ex-husbands infidelities, she could not go down this road herself. She remembered the hurt she felt and just could not inflict this on her children or her devoted husband. So, she remained friends with Charles for several years before the time came when he asked her to decide between the life she had and the life of love he could offer. But, so afraid of losing little Diana and Jake, she declined him over and over until finally he left town and she never heard from him again. As the old song tells us, it truly is sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Our friend Rose was just in too big of a hurry to get hitched. She felt incomplete without a man, and this was partly due to the absence of a father in her life. By not growing up around men, she had a deep need to fill that void, but had she recognized this as the reason or basis for all these relationships, perhaps Rose might have made better choices. We do deserve the best and the best certainly is worth waiting for.
Patience is such a virtue that, as a whole, we all have to work on in life. By not waiting for the right husband (or wife), we are doing ourselves an injustice. By marrying the wrong people just to get out of the house or keep from being alone, we sacrifice our very souls by living with people we really dont love (or sometimes even like) that much. Always be fair to yourself, and true to your heart and feelings and you will never find yourself alone in this world.
My name is Joe Vetromile, and I'm an author/screenwriter living in So.
California. I've written hundreds of articles on the subjects of flirting,
dating and breaking-up. Besides having first hand experience with all three, my
research on the art of dating confirms to me that while the ritual of hooking up
with a soul-mate may be arduous at times, the end result of finding that perfect someone to share the rest of your life with, is well worth the effort.
Joe Vetromile writes for DrDating.com a
site filled with dating advice and tips. Read the latest
reviews of dating sites and
dating services. Looking for help with dating, love, and
relationship issues then visit the
dating advice section. |
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