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A Foreigners Experience Online Dating in the UK: Going NativeBy Brian McDonald
When I arrived in London as a young, single guy, I had been told what to expect. English girls were easy, apparently, and a lot less prudish than they were back home. "You'll take one home no problem, first night out!" I was told. I found the reality to be massively different. Sure, if you are over six foot, work in banking, and have a jaw-line that can stop speeding bullets you're going to have it easy. But that's true anywhere. For the rest of us, dating in the UK is a unique challenge - especially so in London. For guys, the problem is being a differentiator - having that extra something-something that girls are looking for. If you're quiet, shy and don't make much of a fuss, you're just background noise - it doesn't matter how much of a nice guy you are. The girls in the UK, and especially London, get hit on by a dozen of you every night. On the other hand if you come across as arrogant or full of yourself, you're probably going to be shot down unless you happen across the rare girls who are attracted to that sort of thing. Confidence without arrogance, and making them laugh without being a clown, are two of the major keys to UK dating. But if you're looking for something serious, give up on the club scene. The best you're likely to get is an easy one-night stand, the worst is going home feeling un-desirable, and somewhere in the middle is Chlamydia. This became obvious to me after about five months of unsuccessful dating. In the UK, however, there is one massive extra resource - online dating. In the UK it's almost at the point where it's acceptable to say, "we met online." And most people who try it say they've had some kind of positive experience. So I gave it a try. Online dating in the UK is a game of written communication - if you can't express yourself in anything other than pick-up lines, don't bother. You have to be able to impress with your ability to keep an online conversation going for at least 3-4 emails. That will usually get you a date (and after that you're on your own). The first girl I met turned out to be a much older Italian. The second was a good, salt-of-the-earth Londoner, but totally not my type. On the verge of giving up, I set up one more date with a girl who looked like she was probably out of my league. And it turned out to be the best call I ever made. After two or three improbable dates, it became obvious we had something good. The only problem now is telling our friends how we met!
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