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Any advise on how to get to the truth?
I've been dating Cal for the past two years. He's been wonderful and supportive and he goes with me to my family functions and I go with him to his. We are a couple and everyone knows it.
I was at his apartment recently when he had to go out on an errand. I was sitting at the kitchen table when I saw this printed out email from a friend. It talked about what a good time they had at a certain dance bar - where the girls dance and the men sit and watch them. I had no idea he was going to those places and the email made it sound as if it was a regular thing. The email went on to say how his friend thought Cal and one particular woman would end up 'doing it' right there at the bar.
I showed him the email when he got back and he said his friend was just blowing smoke. He had gone to the bar on more than one occasion, but it was nothing.
Something is telling me not to believe him, but I don't know how much of a big deal to make of it. Any advise on how to get to the truth?
Daena
Dear Daena
My instincts are telling me there's something more to it as well but for only one reason: he printed out the email and left it someplace you were sure to find it. Me thinks maybe Cal got a little carried away at the club and is confessing. Otherwise, why not leave the email unprinted on the computer where it was password protected and not available for anyone's eyes?
My advise is to treat it like a confession and don't browbeat the lad to tell you what you already know. Then make your decision based on that. Now that you know about the visits to the club, you can lay down some groundrules that you both can adhere to. He's either confessing because he wants to save the relationship or because he wants to end it, talking about the acceptable levels of his forays to the club will let you know which way it really is.
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