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Are there telltale signs that someone might be an abuser ?
 Are there telltale signs that someone might be an abuser before the abuse begins? I'm in high school and I have a friend who is head over heels with this guy, but I've seen him and he has a bad temper and he's always telling her what to do. She doesn't like it, but she doesn't want to be without a boyfriend.  Thank you so much for asking this question. The pressure to have a boyfriend or girlfriend is hard at your age. It's harder for girls because while there is an expectation of having a boyfriend, boys your age are sometimes encouraged to be "players" which sometimes means not holding young women in high esteem or showing them respect. Hopefully, you can apply some of these signals and see if your friend is in real trouble and you can help her before she becomes a more of a victim. Here are some signs of abuse: If he puts her down in front of other people - the embarrassment of the situation lowers self-esteem and will make her weaker in private. She makes excuse for him - if he yells at her in public and puts her down and she comes up with reasons why he was right such as having a hard day or a problem with a teacher or parent. He acts controlling - he's always waiting for her after class or always around and he pulls her away from being with her friends, insisting he is all she needs. Does he get angry at her for no apparent reason and then punish her by not talking to her? - This is a manipulation mind game to make her come begging to him. Raising his status and lowering hers. There are many more signs. They can be found easily on the internet or libraries and bookstores. I hope the best for your friend.
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