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How do I tell her my feelings without breaking her spirit?
Before I met my girlfriend she lost some weight (about seventy pounds) and she looks terrific. When we go out she gets her share of looks from other guys. I don’t mind that they look but recently they’ve begun to come up and talk to her when I leave her side. It seems as if every time I go to the men’s room and come back, there’s someone speaking with her. I never said anything about it to her as I know how men can sometimes be. Lately I’ve picked up some signals she’s sending to these other men. She sends sly looks their way when she thinks I don’t notice and she appears to enjoy the attention she’s getting.
I know she’s still getting used to the ‘new her’ and she wants to take out the new body for some test runs, but she’s with me and she should act like it. How do I tell her my feelings without breaking her spirit?
You’re very wise to be sensitive to her going through the new sensations of a body that’s different than the one she is used to. I think you present your case very well. Sit her down and say to her: “I like that you get attention from other men – it shows me what great taste I have. I would like it more if when you were with me, you didn’t look at other men. I understand them wanting to look at you but it makes me feel a little put off when it seems as if you’re flirting with them. I’d appreciate it if you kept those beautiful brown (blue, green, grey, hazel, ebony) eyes on me when we’re out together.”
After that, it’s up to her to honor the request. She may deny she flirts (don’t argue the point – if she is this will escalate it or stop it) and she may be flattered with your extra attention and won’t need it from anyone else. Either way, the ball will be in her court.
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