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I have been so out of sorts lately. I don't know what to do with myself
I had an affair that lasted for a couple of months. I ended it when my boyfriend asked me if I was cheating. I didn't want to tell him the truth, and I also didn't want to lie. So I told him no and then ended it with the other guy.
The problem is: I have been so out of sorts lately. I don't know what to do with myself. I've been angry, depressed, and then I seem to get really happy and giddy. I don't know what's wrong with me.
You realize you still lied, right? It sounds like you're going through withdrawal. Part of the allure of an affair is knowing you're doing something wrong and the possibility of exposure along with the newness of the relationship is addictive. Now that's it's done, you have to grieve the loss of the relationship. This is the time where people are most vulnerable and find themselves sucked back in. A phone call now from the other guy would probably put you in a tailspin.
You'll have to ride it out - the intensity should diminish over a short period of time and will go away in bigger chunks each day you manage to stay away from the other guy. In the meantime, expend some of that energy in a positive way towards your boyfriend.
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