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My problem is I’m ready for a commitment.
I have been in a string of bad relationships. I’ve read the books and the columns and understand I need to do something different if I want different results. I started dating a guy two years ago who is different from other men I’ve dated before. He’s closer to my age (25) and he’s in school earning his Master’s degree. He’s also taller and more muscular. The men I had been dating have been so involved with their careers that it left little time for me.
My problem is I’m ready for a commitment. He says he loves me, but he’s just not ready. He says there are some things he needs to have in place before he commits to anyone. What do I do now? Do I give him an ultimatum? In the past, I accepted my fate until he ended the relationship but I don’t want the same things to happen all over again.
You’re fooling yourself if you think you did something drastically different. The only thing that changed about the type of man you date is that he’s younger and bigger. But someone getting their Master’s degree has a serious career goal in mind and if he wants to accomplish some things before settling down, he’s likely to be every bit as busy as the older, smaller men.
You’re going for men who might have powerhouse careers and then you’re trying to change them to be more domestically oriented. Why are you testing them? Will you somehow be more of a woman if you can rope in a high powered guy? Ask Ivana and Marla how that’s worked for them.
If the thing you need is attention, the quality you need to look for is attentiveness. You should start by learning how to pay attention to yourself and give yourself the attention you need so you can stop looking for it in all the wrong people.
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