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Should he should be allowed to have friends that aren't necessarily shared with me
 What do you think about this? I've been dating Steve for about six months. We say we're dating each other and we're as serious as the young relationship can be though we still live in our own places. Steve is part of this online community and although I am also a member, he's more into it than I am. Someone he met on line is coming to our town and Steve invited him to crash at his place. He didn't tell me about until the very last minute. I went online and took a look at this guy's profile and some of the comments he has made and I am convinced he likes Steve more than a little bit. Furthermore, I'm upset Steve didn't ask me or at least see how I would feel about before inviting him to stay at his place. In any case, the guy arrived and he and Steve made plans for a few things while he was in town. These events didn't include me. Steve says nothing happened and I believe him but that's not the point. I think he should have shown me the courtesy of including me in on this thing from the beginning. He says I'm overreacting and he should be allowed to have friends that aren't necessarily shared with me. Who's right?  You both are. He should be able to have friends that aren't mutual to the both of you and he should not have excluded you to pointedly. He should have told you he was thinking of asking this guy to crash at his place and suggested you both take him out to dinner to see if the three of you could become friends. If not, then the two of them could have hung out and he could have shown his guest the sights. Either the two of you are going through some sort of power struggle - in which case this is about something more than the guest - or your boundaries are not as well defined as you think. Talk to Steve and the two of you need to come up with a plan you both can live with about any future guests. And then let this go.
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