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They asked me how I could date such a pig
I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. I was at a company picnic talking with some of his teammates (male) and they asked me how I could date such a pig. Instead of asking them what they meant I went to him and asked him why his teammates would call him a pig. He said it was because he poked fun at the guys in his group by joking about women who would pass them by. If there was an unattractive woman passing by he would say she belonged to one of the guys in the group while the attractive ones he would say wanted him. I told him how distasteful I found it and he said there was no harm done because the women couldn't hear it. What do you think?
I think we have the same friend because I have a male friend who does the same thing - except he also did it in front of me. His reaction was the same as your friend: it did no harm because the women didn't know.
Of course it does harm. His male friends thinks he's a pig. It's not very often you get guys to break the rules of the club that way is offensive to them even though they may act as if it's not. I wonder if they are thinking about their girlfriends, wives, or daughters passing by and your friend commenting on them before he knew who they were.
Also, it doesn't matter if the women hear him or not - it's about his view and his treatment of women and saying those things; whether in earshot or not, is a treatment of women. It speaks to how he views women.
I told my guy pal that his behavior was beneath who he was as a man and it makes me feel less safe around him and it lowered my good opinion of him. He was free to continue that behavior but I would leave the room when he did and eventually not wish to be around him.
I don't know if he still does it, but he doesn't do it around me.
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