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Avoiding Bad Relationships
By Graham Billingham
Avoiding bad relationships is something that we all want to do, yet so many of us end up in relationships that have little to offer and dont bring anything good to our lives. Perhaps we date people that enable our less desirable qualities, put us down, or even harm us physically. Avoiding bad relationships seems like it would be a simple thing to do, unfortunately, we cant always see them coming. There are some things that we can all do to avoid unhealthy relationships, if we plan ahead.
First, you should know what your positive and negative qualities are. If you know that you tend to be really passive and you want to stop doing that, you dont want to pair up with people that are really controlling and will allow you to continue to live life and confront problems passively. The same thing can be said if you have had an addiction to cigarettes, you dont want to get into a relationship with someone that will enable you to start smoking again. Attempting to choose people that will accentuate the good and help deter you from the bad is a much better plan, and knowing what your positive and negative qualities are is a great way to avoid bad relationships.
Next, you should attempt to see patterns in your past relationships. When you look at all of your past relationships you may see a pattern or similarities in the way you interacted with your partners, the way they treated you, or the way that they behaved. Try to determine which of these qualities are unattractive or unhealthy and seem to repeat themselves from relationship to relationship. When you can identify these things it becomes much easier to avoid them, and the bad relationships typically associated with them in the future. If you have a difficult time doing this on your own, you might want to ask friends and family that are willing to give constructive criticism to help you.
You should also ensure that you are as ready as possible to enter into a new relationship. If you have recently ended a relationship, you should take some time to be by yourself. This doesnt mean that you cant date casually, but you should be sure to work through the grief that is associated with the end of a relationship. When you rush into relationships too soon after the last you are more apt to get involved with someone that is not all that good for you and vice versa. Take your time healing from past relationships and dont be too eager to get into new ones. When you process all of your relationships slowly you will be more likely to make good decisions.
Sometimes good relationships turn bad, and there is no avoiding it. But, when you take your time to really analyze who you are and what your past has entailed you can increase your chances of experiencing positive relationships in the future. No relationship is perfect, but you can work to avoid the bad relationships.
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