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When It's Time to Dump Him
By Lorraine Harper
You've given it a shot and you know that if you spend anymore time with him, it will simply be putting off the inevitable. You may have been out on just a few dates or it could have taken longer to see that this isn't the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It doesn't really matter how long you have been seeing him. You only need to remember one thing when it comes to breaking it off with a man. As long as you keep his ego intact, you can't go wrong.
Don't go out of your way to call him and let him know it's over. You shouldn't call him at all. If you are fortunate enough and he gets your answering machine while you're not home, don't call him back. He will take the time to soothe his own ego and would rather think aliens abducted you than consider the fact that you just aren't interested. If you happen to answer the phone, tell him a lie. Explain that you aren't ready to commit to one person and feel like you need time alone for a while. Tell him you spoke with your ex and are considering starting to see each other again. Trust me- he would rather hear these lame excuses than be told you don't want to see him for the real reasons.
You can always claim that you are too busy and will return a call in a few weeks. Let's face it. He will be a little bewildered because he can't comprehend that you can't fit a phone call into your schedule, but he will shift his focus rather quickly. If you are lucky, his eye will wander and by the time you feel guilty about not calling him he might have already moved on.
Never tell him you met someone new. Not only will that smart, but also you risk harsh and angry words directed towards you. Again, you can always fall back on the rekindling story. The farther back you met someone, the better. It gives him the feeling that he isn't being rejected or easily replaced. You are simply not over someone else and it's no skin off his nose.
You do have the option to tell him the truth if that feels best to you. Maybe you consider him to be the kind of person who can handle how you truly feel. If you have dated him long enough to know him that well, he might just deserve the truth. In fact, he could be silently agreeing and not sure what to do about it.
There really isn't the best or perfect way to break up with someone, but there are ways to make it easier on you and him that can leave you both prepared to move on quickly. It's a lot like playing games but it works. Even if you despise yourself for playing along, don't feel too badly because you gave him to tools to move on without feeling completely rejected.
Related Articles:
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Getting Dumped Is Never Easy
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Movies You Shouldn't Watch After a Breakup
The Art of Breaking up
The Other Side of Getting Dumped: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways
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