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What happened to the flame?
By Tim Blackstock
What happens when you lose the electricity in your relationship? This loss happens when it goes from sensual to no sizzle in no time at all. You then realize that you may have taken your partner for granted. It is true; if you take that loved one for granted in your relationship you will get burned. When couples become so comfortable with each other that they have no fear of losing their partner, they are playing with fire.
Who really knows when the spark you had, which seems like so long ago, burns out. It seems to be like a domino effect in any relationship. A small fight can trigger troubling thoughts and severe actions in your relationship. This can lead to infidelity, jealousy, and bitterness towards future relationships. No one wants these issues in their life. They can lead you on a downward spiral to relationship devastation. No one gets out alive and future relationships suffer greatly.
We will do almost anything to fall in love. If it means hanging out in sports arenas from time to time, then we will buy a season pass. Why is it that when Mr. Perfect comes along, we stop trying so hard to keep him around? In our minds, we start to think that we are finally in a relationship and all the work is done. To put it simply, I got him and he is all mine. No need to rock the boat, so to speak. If we lose him, another relationship will come along. No worries. Relationships are not like trains, we need to always be on the lookout for small problems that can grow more significant and lead to a break up. If you want the relationship to work, then work at it and focus on where you are, not where you were before your partner came along. As women, we may let ourselves go or become so self involved that the men in our lives literally have to take a number to be seen. Men do this too. Then comes the thinking that he or she is a great cook or great with the children. We start to love our partners for what they do for us and not just love them for who they are.
If you are in a relationship where your partner is away a lot of the time then you may feel like you are being left out of his life. Now women are not off the hook when it comes to this. If a partner is out of focus in your life, then your interest may become lost. You may start to look towards others when you are not getting the love you desire in the current relationship. Looking elsewhere is the start of possible infidelity. Be cautious and careful if you choose to look. You may lose what you have and the finally realize how great it was after the love is long gone.
Communication is the key that unlocks and starts the growth in a relationship. If you cannot open up to your partner, then this fairy tale romance you are so fond of may fall apart. Share your feelings from the beginning. Experiences that occurred throughout your life are great to share with your partner. Each of you then has the opportunity to learn about the other one and you will grow together emotionally. Let your partner know when something he does upsets you. Do not bottle up your feelings. This will cause a major relationship meltdown when you do finally explode and show your true feelings.
The true colors of a relationship are often masked. What you see as emotionally stable partners who are successful somehow become the person who sucks you dry when it comes to your emotions and money. Think about what first attracted you to your partner. Of course, what we see on a person first is how they look, but we should not date on this alone. He or she has beautiful eyes, but is their personality as dull as it gets? Say you love your mates bad boy behavior. In the long run, this may not be such an admiring quality. Think ahead when you are still in dating mode.
You must be willing to pay the price in a relationship. You, as one-half of your relationship, must be willing to compromise and listen to your partner. If you do not put anything into a relationship, you will not get anything out of it. Respect your mate and you will get respect in return. Once the respect is lost, the end of your relationship may not be far behind. To keep a relationship going strong, do the small stuff that means a lot. Compliment your partner, not just when he or she looks nice. A kind word goes a long way. Little gifts during the entire relationship and doing your part around the house will show that special someone that you care. You do not have to spend your entire paycheck on your partner to make them feel like a million bucks. Something from the heart says more than something from the store. Without these small random acts of kindness, your partner may just look elsewhere for that spark that brought you two together so strongly in the beginning.
The romance has died. How many of us know this feeling? You start out in a relationship with a man who is like Romeo. He brings you flowers, takes you out dancing, and decides he would rather go to the opera with you then hang out with his buddies. This sounds like heaven, right? Well, it may start out that way and quite possibly never end. You could end up lucky in love. There are those relationships though that hide behind the romance mask for a few months and then that mask is removed ever so slyly and can never be found again. Many couples lose their spark and the flame has to be rekindled. This does not mean that a little love in the bedroom will fix what is broken and things can magically go back to normal. The act of love is just an act. This does not mean that the sentiment is completely empty, but romance can lead you back to a spark. We want our men to make us dinner and spend quality time with us. Same goes for the women too. Romance your man. He will love if you sit through the entire baseball game with him. After all, isnt spending time together more important then what you are watching?
If you feel the spark in your relationship start to dim, do whatever you can to put the fire back into it. Now this will not work if your heart is not in it. If you are admiring a new love from afar, then you may want to put this relationship out of its misery and start anew. When you start to look elsewhere some say the relationship is already dying. You can only make yourself happy. If your partner is not happy with himself or herself, they are not going to be happy with you. There may be minimal moments of happiness, but then it is right back to bitter town on the express train. When this happens to be the case in your relationship, cut your losses early and move on. This will benefit you later in life. What would be best for the both of you? It is now time to look ahead. Your relationship future is on the horizon.
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