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The problem with the gay/lesbian dating scene is that sometimes, both parties are unsure whether an activity is really a date or just a platonic get-together. You may think it's a date, but the person you're with may think you're just "hanging out". This is because we were programmed to think of social interactions in the heterosexual sense. After all, when a man asks a woman out to dinner, you know exactly what's going on. Gay/lesbian dating doesn't quite work in the same way. Here are some things you can do to ensure that your date is really a date:

Make sure there's a trace of romance. While wall climbing is something you can do with friends, you may want to spice it up a bit for a potential lover. Why not add a romantic note or a flower at the top of the wall for your date to find? By including simple romantic gestures in a seemingly platonic activity, you have a better chance of getting your message across.


Don't be afraid to flirt a little. Sure, you might get turned down, but at least you know where you stand. The difference between gay/lesbian friends having lunch and a romantic lunch date is that your friend probably won't be trying to touch your arm or your hair once in a while. Whether you're gay or lesbian, dating "vibes" must be present for it to qualify as an actual date.

When you ask him/her out, make sure you mention that it's a date. "Would you like to have dinner with me on a date?" is better and definitely clearer than "Would you like to have dinner?" It may sound like common sense, but you'd be surprised at how vague an invitation can be when you don't clarify that it's an actual date.