|
|
It seemed to me like the whole thing is bogus.
By David DeAngelo
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
I need your advice:
I just recently met a guy (while he was going to a business meeting) and I was just leaving my gym.
He asked me to have coffee, but I kind of hesitated. I didn't go, however, I took his business card.
A few days later I decided to email him...just to say "hi."
We have been communicating via the net for a couple weeks now. I also have had the opportunity to meet him briefly for the first time to have coffee. Then at another time I was with my girlfriend...and he was also with us.
He seems like a nice guy, but I don't like the way we met. It seemed like he was trying to pick me up or something. What I am trying to say is that, had the situation been different, like if we met through friends or at work, I wouldn't have this much negative thoughts about him.
Anyway, we were supposed to meet for dinner and a movie, but then he called to tell me that he had a migraine. He seems really interested in having me go over to his place. Not knowing him well, I am very afraid to do something of this nature... so I declined his invitations without responding.
Furthermore, he'd called again and said that he would love to see me. Again he asked me to go to his place. He said that he would even come to pick me up or have a taxi pick me up. This is very insulting to me. I mean If I wanted to see someone, I would drive to see him. Why did he have to offer a taxi. I can't figure this guy out, but I am very suspicious about the whole situation.
It seemed to me like the whole thing is bogus.
Please respond. I am in desperate need to find out this guy's true intentions. Do I have the right to feel this way, or am I just being too cautios and paranoid?
Hope to hear from you soon.
ST
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, I've included this email because I want to show you something...
Namely, a great example of what's going on in the mind of a "typical" woman.
Notice all of the suspicion, insecurity, reading into the situation, attempts to decipher intentions, etc.
One of the things I say is that women don't take anything you say or do LITERALLY. They always want to know what it "means".
I basically NEVER see emails like this from guys.
Guys just want to know: Is she into me or not?
That's it.
Guys don't care if the woman was trying to "pick them up" or whether they met at work or on the street, or if she wants him to come over to her house... EVER.
But women... women are completely different.
They are ALWAYS thinking about motives, details, and "meaning".
What's my point?
Well, a lot of guys do things that make women suspicious.
Or they do things that women read into and instantly run from...
Or they do predictable, average things and say predictable, average things that BORE women because the woman interprets the man's actions as AVERAGE AND UNINTERESTING.
You need to keep this stuff in mind.
This guy should have asked for her email FIRST (asking her to coffee right on the spot was OK, but since she didn't go for it, email would be the right next step). Then he should have emailed a day or two later and suggested a cup of tea. After the tea, he should have invited her over to continue the conversation, etc.
But he's not really paying attention to how a woman might see his actions, and he's coming across a little strange.
He's trying to get a woman who doesn't trust him yet to come straight to his house... and it's freaking her out.
Of course, there's a way to do this (I talk about it in my book, of course), but he's not doing it correctly.
This is another reason why I recommend that guys avoid talking about work, family, school, etc. If you talk about those things, you'll be likely to come off as qualifying her for marriage... which is a no-no early on.
If you tease, have fun, make fun, and stay mysterious, then you'll create curiosity, challenge, and mystery.
Every woman is different, and there is often a fine line between being suspicious and being interesting. But you need to know the difference, and behave in a way that gets you the outcome you want.
Click Here to Get Dating Tips in Your Mailbox
| Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved.
David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks of David DeAngelo Communications Inc |
Related Articles:
It works good for guys who have to overcome shyness as well.
It would be great to get out and date some younger women
I've got 2 girls that both want me , an i really dont know how to handle that.
I've made a commitment to figure this out, no matter what.
I was wondering if you have any tips on where I should even start?
No other girl I've met has had her qualities
Secrets Of Dating Younger Women
She ask me whether I am doing all this for sex
She even called me up and said lets get back together. What do I do?
Double Your Dating
This article is owned by its author and/or the publishing website. Webmasters should contact the author and or publishing website to gain permission to use the article for their websites or Ezines.
This article is for entertainment purposes only. The findings and opinions of authors expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily state or reflect those of DrDating.com. See Full Disclaimer for further details.
|
| |
