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Why shyness can be mistaken for rudenessBy Charles Day
The dictionary definition for the word shyness describes its sufferers as retiring or reserved, perhaps even wary or distrustful. If you are meeting someone for the first time, it is very easy for the signs of shyness to be mistaken for rudeness or aloofness. This can often mean a potentially good date ends in disaster. For those of you battling shyness, it is extremely important to work hard at overcoming it. At the very least, you should try to understand what causes it, as it is most likely having a detrimental affect on your relationships and dating. Usually shyness is cause by a lack of confidence. It is understandable, especially when it comes to going on a date with someone for the first time. Were so worried about creating a good impression and hoping that the other person likes who we are, that we often revert into a shell. We worry about everything, what we say, what views we express and most importantly whether our date actually likes us? In a way, it is a self fulfilling prophecy; the more we worry, often the shyer we become. The chain needs to be broken as soon as possible. So how can we counteract shyness? One of the best ways is to go on a date and take part in an activity that you are good at. If you have natural flair or ability, your confidence will ooze through. Often shyness will only happen until the ice has broken, a joint activity that is fun or challenging is a great way to break the ice and encourage a relaxed atmosphere. As confidence is often a state of mind, it is worth covering this topic in more detail. Usually it stands to reason, the more confident you are, the less shy you will be. So you should start to train your mind to be confident whenever you go on a date. A good drill for achieving a confident state of mind is to remember something that you have done very well and the way that you felt at the time. Another popular drill is to give yourself a pep talk, perhaps standing in front of a mirror and verbally geeing yourself up for a date. If you have not dated for a little while, shyness is almost inevitable. If youre not normally a shy person, dont worry. It is most likely because you are doing something that is outside of your normal comfort zone. After a couple of dates, your shyness will start to reduce and your confidence will grow. Dont be frightened to speak with your date about your shyness, you will be able to tell a lot from their reaction.
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