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Sex on the First Date: Why It Isn't A Good Idea
By Alicia R Norman
Most women are very romantic creatures-when we share our bodies, we bare our souls. What many women fail to comprehend is that, for some men, sex is just an act of gratification, and that attraction doesn't mean he likes, or even respects you.
I recall a male friend of mine who bragged about getting it on with some girl he encountered in bar. He joked that if he saw the girl coming, he'd run and hide. Why? He didn't have one ounce of respect for the chick, even though he was guilty of doing the same thing as she.
This is because men look at the girl to set the sexual standards. If he likes you, he is far from upset if you say no-just the opposite. He is looking at you as a woman who respects herself and demands it from others. He also thinks you will believe intimacy is sacred, and will be more willing to share it with you.
Case in point. I knew a very pretty and capable young girl who really liked a friend of mine. They went out, and had sex after the date. When a week passed without a phone call, she asked me to see what was up. I assured her all was fine, thinking he must have simply gotten busy. Imagine my surprise, when he told me that he didn't want anything more to do with her.
"I can't be with her, she slept with me on the first date."
I was shocked and angered on her behalf, and knew I had to tell her the truth.
When I told her what was said, she burst into tears, "I knew it!" She cried, "I just did it cause he wanted me to!"
Lesson learned.
Men who are open-minded like the dudes on Sex and the City are rare, if they indeed exist. I know a scant few guys who have went out with a girl after first date coitus.
Is the mentality unfair? Yes. But it exists-pretending other wise will only lead a woman seeking romance into a world of hurt. Besides all this, first date sex can evolve into a false sense of intimacy, that blinds you to glaring faults. Believe me, if he is the one, and the love potential is there, taking a wait and see approach won't harm anything.
If, however, you are unattached and exploring your sexuality, there are online places that offer the ability to meet up for a casual adult dalliance or two. Sites like Adult Friend Finder, Alt.com and Passion can be the internet dating resource you need to broaden you sexual horizons. Always remember-keep it safe, sane and consensual.
Otherwise, stick to standard dating sites like American Singles, or Match.com, and be very clear about where you are drawing the lines. The man for you will never judge, ridicule or condemn you for your stance.
Related Articles:
Sex & The Perfect Lover
How to Be a Sex Goddess
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302 Advanced Techniques for Driving a Man Wild in Bed
How to Have a XXX Sex Life
Does Size Matter? Apparently It Does.
Lovemaking versus Sex
Men: Why Women Say No
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