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How old should a guy be before he gets his own place?
How old should a guy be before he gets his own place? A friend of mine set me up on a date with someone who is 30 years old and still lives at home with his parents’. His parents had him when they were both almost 40 and he is their only child. They are close, but he isn’t a moocher or a spoiled boy, he says he’s just never had the idea of leaving them but he has no problem moving out when he ‘needs to’. I’m not sure this is a guy I want to get involved with if he’s still living ‘at home.’ Should I take this ‘failure to launch’ as a red-flag?
Almost everyone from Dear Abby to Dr. Phil would tell you there’s something wrong with a guy who is 30 and living at home. I disagree. I know a guy who lived at home a lot longer than this guy, moved out when he was ready, found a hot woman more than 10 years his junior and has been solidly married for almost 15 years. I know because I’m the hot chick he married.
Living at home in and of itself isn’t the red flag. It’s how he handles living at home. My husband was never a mamma’s boy and his folks didn’t indulge him or pay his way. He lived at home because it was simply his home and when he was ready to move his life in a different direction, he bought his own house and came looking for me. Many women passed him up because he lived at home, and those women are envious of me today because I have a man who knows how to come home at the end of the day.
I wouldn’t dismiss him out of hand but would look at how he’s living at home. Now having said that, there are legitimate questions you can ask: Is he trying to lead a single type of life by wanting to sneak you in and out of his room? Does he act as if he needs to be taken care of? He’s going to be that way whether he’s in his parents’ house or his own. Should he find himself in a serious relationship, will he be willing to give it the space it needs to grow or is he expecting it will adapt to his current living arrangements?
I don’t discount that I was lucky or incredibly blessed, so I would encourage you to dig a little deeper to see if there are some red flags out on the horizon.
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