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True Online Dating: The Pizza Boy Always Rings TwiceBy Brian McDonald
Rachel and I met on one of those free dating sites. You know which ones I'm talking about - the kind with more members than you can actually look at. I considered myself to be lucky as soon as she bothered replying to my poke. And, like I had a horseshoe stuffed in my back pocket, she seemed very interested in me. This was one of those times in my life where I was sure things were too good to be true. Since it was a free dating site with a lot of members using it, I thought someone was playing a joke on me or that someone was looking to scam money. Lo and behold, we ended up in a video conference in less than a week and I could see this beautiful girl staring back at me. In only another month, we were already talking about meeting one another. This was seriously exciting for me. Our first date went off without a hitch and we planned a second before the goodnight kiss was through. We are both kind of old fashioned, but we're certainly not prudes. We made out regularly, but didn't take it to the final step until about the 9th date. She actually asked me if she could come back to my apartment. I wasn't about to say no. We didn't get right into the action. We talked for a few hours while halfway watching a corny B-movie starring Joe Mantegna. After a heated make-out session on the sofa, we both decided we should eat something. After all, if we were to spend the night at this pace, we would need our energy. So, Rachel called in and ordered a pizza while I was looking for chips or something to snack on in the cabinets. As soon as she hung up the phone, she ran into the kitchen, leaped on top of me giggling about extra cheesy, and we were going at it on the floor like professional wrestlers. Before I knew it, we were completely naked on my fake marble tile and having the time of our lives. With all the blood far removed from my brain, I forgot that my doorbell didn't work. And wouldn't you know it - this pizza boy didn't have sense enough to knock after ringing it to no avail. The thing that stood out most me that night wasn't the sex. It was the look on that boy's face when he walked into my apartment, dropped the pizza, and stared like a psycho at Rachel as she screamed, jumped up and hid behind the counter. For me, it was too late. I stood up, letting it all hang out, and asked him if he liked the view. What else could I do? I just hope he appreciated the tip.
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